Tuesday, August 28, 2012
TWINS TUESDAYS: Finding Support
I've decided to do something new here on the blog: Since one of the reasons I started this whole thing was to blog about the challenges and joys of having multiples, I've decided that Tuesdays will be Twins Days here. Every Tuesday, the post will be about twins -- either advice, tips, experiences, ideas, and/or a call for answers to my problems! I'm hoping that the focus on multiples one day per week will help me and others in my unique parenting role. And since today is the kick-off, I'm going to address the issue of finding support, something I hope you can find right here!
My experience as a parent of twins for two-plus years is that it definitely ebbs and flows. There are times when I think "I've got this!" and there are times when I think "How will I get through this?"
Right now, I'm experiencing the latter!
My little ones are so 32 months old right now and so very, very active. They have been since they turned 2 years old, so it has been a long 8 months in this house, especially since they have really avoided napping now. They are like two little tornados, wound up, feeding off each other's insane energy. If I leave them alone to put away laundry or even just take a phone call in the bathroom (my only quiet place!), I never know what I will discover when I get back. I find it very difficult to discipline them, as they don't seem to care if they are forced to sit in a time out.
Since we returned from vacation last week, my little boy has discovered he can climb in and out of his crib. I know I should be pleased we made this far -- we have been postponing the big bed transition until absolutely necessary. But now he easily scales the side of the crib, and is causing major destruction in the twins' room daily. I am at my wit's end with this. We don't have a spare bedroom to separate the little ones. We live in a small house, so even storing their stuff in another location and clearing out their room is difficult. He has been a little devil, emptying the changing table of diapers and pull-ups, emptying bookshelves, spewing sheets around the room, etc. And he strips off his clothes and diaper in the process. You might wonder how he gets so much accomplished without me knowing? He's absolutely QUIET. And so is his twin. I thought they were sleeping. (Of course, now I'm on to them. And they have to be watched...)
So, I as watch my hair turn gray and fall out, I am in a new phase of twindom that is very stressful. And I feel very alone in it all, because despite well-meaning intentions of friends and family, it's very hard to understand twins unless you have gone through it. I mentioned in yesterday's post that I'm hoping to finally join a Moms of Multiples group for some form of support and encouragement. We have a local group that meets once a month, and when the babies were born, it was on the night of my monthly PTO meeting for Big Girl's school. I wanted to continue to help out at her school to support her, so I didn't go to the MoMs meeting. Now PTO is a different night, so I think I can make these meetings, which coincidentally will now even be held in my town. It's a sign!
Where else can one find support for raising twins? Searching online is a good place. I often just good things like "twins getting out of bed" or "twins throwing food" and you'll find message boards with parents telling stories similar to your own, or other blogs with stories, or websites with advice. You often realize quickly that you are not alone, even if the parents are not living down the street.
As a avid researcher of any topic, I often turn to books for advice or encouragement. And while they are many, many books devoted to twin pregnancy and infancy, it became abundantly clear as my babies grew that there are very few books devoted to twin toddlerdom and beyond. It's like twins never grow up in the book world! (Makes me think I should write a book about that :) I'm thinking of getting this book next.
So where do you find support for the crazy life with twins? Let me know! In a future post I will try to compile a list of the best places for information. In the meantime, stay sane!