Friday, March 9, 2012
I am a blog addict. I love blogs -- those perfect blogs of moms with perfect homemaking skills who bake pies and homeschool their kids and read the Bible everyday and have a weekly cleaning schedule and take dreamy blog photos of their sweetly decorated houses and coupon themselves into freebies and end up with fabulous saving accounts and no debt.
That's not me.
In many ways, I long to be like those women. But I'm totally not. I watch bad, trashy, reality television and news shows. Instead of reading the Bible everyday, I read the newspaper and follow politics and pop culture and local news drama. I attempt to keep things organized in my house, but alas, it doesn't always work out that way. My couponing skills are improving, and I have the knowledge, just not the time to do all the mental math it takes to get to free stuff, and a quick trip to Target for diapers and some groceries can end up costing me $100 in the blink of an eye. And despite my love of baking (which I love more than cooking!) my kids often get -- gasp! -- baked goods out of a bag. Like Oreos. (I serve milk with them -- doesn't that count for something?)
My days seem to fly by, especially with two little ones at home during the school day and a part-time writing job to nurture. I can just about get the regular tasks of life done between the insanity of trying to take care of twins and continue to keep Big Girl on track. There's not room for much else lately, despite my best efforts, and I when I do get the chance to cross a big task off my list, like cleaning out a closet or filing my never-ending pile of papers, I want to do a happy dance.
So why read those sunshiney posts on those mom blogs? It's kind of inspirational. Aspirational? Relaxing. Educational? A lot of reasons. Sometimes a bit of reality creeps into their blogs. And then it becomes something to which I can relate, like when they show a photo of a room with toys all over the floor or a "before shot" of a closet clean-up. I have a lot of those moments lately. (See photo above.)
I've been posting here and there on this blog for a few months now, but I'm thinking about amping up the frequency. Writing for me, as it is for many, is a release. A chance to vent. A chance to share. It's time consuming, yes, and Lord knows I don't have a lot of time, but it makes me feel better, and sometimes you just have to do stuff just for yourself, right? Being a stay-at-home mom can also be lonely, and when you have twins, it can be even lonelier and confusing. I wished I could have figured many "twin" things out sooner, and faster, but I didn't, so it does cross my mind to share what I've learned in the hopes it may help some of you sooner, and faster, than it did me.
I've blogged before, both as a mom blogger and a "somewhat political" blogger, and both opened me up for a lot of negativity and judgemental comments. I'm sure it will happen again, because when you put yourself out there, there's always someone to criticize you. There was a woman I know who started to blog some mom things and swiftly pulled it right off the 'net when she got a negative comment. I was confused by that, because you can't be a writer without taking some heat. I've taken lots of heat, both in my professional writing life and this hobby writing gig. You just deal with it. Everybody's got an opinion. Sometimes it hurts, but most of the time you need to just shake it off. If you've got good intentions, you've just got to remind yourself of that. (With that said, be kind, reader!)
So here I am. Again.